CLEVELAND, OH — Local man Jake Reynolds, 27, learned a harsh lesson about playing hooky this week after his attempt to fake a sick day backfired spectacularly when his overly caring boss sent a surprise delivery—straight to his front door.
Reynolds, who admitted he “just wasn’t feeling like working,” called his manager Monday morning with what he thought was an Oscar-worthy performance of a man on the brink of death.
“I really went for it,” Reynolds said. “I added some coughs, made my voice all raspy, even threw in a dramatic sniffle. I said, ‘I think I caught that nasty bug going around,’ which is the safest sick excuse. No one questions ‘that bug going around.’”
His boss, Carol Fisher, seemed genuinely sympathetic. “She was like, ‘Oh no, take all the time you need! Get some rest, hydrate!’ and I thought, ‘Boom. Nailed it.’”
What Reynolds didn’t anticipate, however, was Fisher’s deep-rooted belief in the healing power of homemade chicken soup.
The Soup That Exposed the Lie
Around lunchtime, Reynolds—who had been thoroughly enjoying his self-imposed “recovery” by binge-watching reality TV—was shocked when he heard a knock at the door.
“I wasn’t expecting anyone, so I peeked out the window, and there was this delivery guy holding a big bag with my boss’s name on it,” Reynolds said. “I thought, ‘Oh no. This is it. This is how I get caught.’”
Inside the bag was a large container of homemade chicken noodle soup, crackers, ginger ale, and a handwritten note from Fisher that read:
“Jake, hope this helps! Take care of yourself. We need you back at 100%! – Carol.”
“I just stood there staring at it,” Reynolds said. “Like, what do I do? Do I text her and say, ‘Hey, thanks for the soup, I miraculously recovered just in time for happy hour?’”
A Desperate Cover-Up
Realizing he had no choice but to commit to the lie, Reynolds made a risky move—he sent a thank-you text along with a photo of himself looking miserable.
“I grabbed a blanket, messed up my hair, and held the soup like it was my last meal,” he admitted. “I even furrowed my brow for extra drama.”
Fisher responded immediately: “Oh no! You look awful. Please, take another day off!”
Reynolds, both relieved and now completely trapped, was forced to extend his fake sickness into a second day.
The Aftermath
By Wednesday, riddled with guilt and out of shows to watch, Reynolds returned to work.
“I walked in, and my boss goes, ‘How are you feeling? That soup really works, huh?’” Reynolds recalled. “I just nodded and said, ‘Yeah… miracle cure.’”
His coworkers, however, were less convinced.
“I saw his Instagram story Monday night,” said colleague Sarah Daniels. “He was at a bar. Drinking a beer.”
Reynolds, now fully aware that he will never be able to fake sick again, has learned his lesson:
“Next time, I’ll just go to work.”