BOSTON, MA – A local man who entered a porta-potty for a quick pit stop during the Boston Marathon ended up accidentally winning after getting stuck inside and unknowingly being moved across the finish line.

Ryan Baxter, 32, had never planned to run the marathon. In fact, he had only shown up to cheer on his girlfriend and maybe enjoy some post-race snacks.

“I was just there for support—and free bananas,” Baxter said.

But nature called.

About an hour into the race, Baxter ducked into a porta-potty near the course, unaware that the portable restroom was about to be relocated.

“I had just sat down when I felt it start to move,” Baxter recalled. “At first, I thought I was just lightheaded from my breakfast burrito.”

Unbeknownst to him, race officials were repositioning the restrooms to make room for the finishing area—and Baxter’s porta-potty was loaded onto a truck.

“I heard voices and felt the whole thing shaking,” he said. “I tried to yell, but no one heard me over the crowd.”

For the next 45 minutes, Baxter was unknowingly transported closer and closer to the finish line, completely unaware that thousands of marathon runners were sweating and suffering just outside his plastic prison.

Finally, the truck came to a stop—just 10 feet from the finish line.

That’s when the real disaster struck.

“As soon as I tried to stand up, the whole thing tipped over,” Baxter said.

To the shock and horror of spectators, the porta-potty flopped onto its side, burst open, and dumped a very confused (and slightly traumatized) Baxter onto the pavement—RIGHT at the finish line.

“The crowd went absolutely nuts,” said one witness. “People thought he was some kind of extreme marathoner who ran the whole race inside a porta-potty.”

Still dizzy and covered in mystery liquids he refuses to discuss, Baxter had no idea what was happening until a volunteer placed a medal around his neck.

“That’s when I realized,” Baxter said. “I had technically just finished the Boston Marathon without taking a single step.”

Meanwhile, actual runners—who had trained for months—were furious.

“I just ran 26.2 miles and got beaten by a guy in a tipped-over porta-potty?” said one exhausted finisher. “This is the worst day of my life.”

Race officials quickly disqualified Baxter, but not before reporters swarmed him for interviews.

His girlfriend, who had been waiting at the finish line for her real boyfriend to arrive, immediately recognized him and yelled, “RYAN, WHAT THE HELL?!”

Now semi-famous, Baxter has no plans to run an actual marathon but is considering writing a book titled Accidental Champion: How I Won a Race I Never Ran.

“I may not be a runner,” Baxter said, “but I’ll go down in history as the first man to ever finish a marathon by porta-potty.”