PHOENIX, AZ – A local man’s genius plan to fake his own kidnapping to avoid work fell apart almost immediately when he forgot to turn off location sharing on his phone, allowing his boss and police to track him directly to a Taco Bell drive-thru.

Brandon Schaefer, 28, had been dreading a long shift at his job as an office administrator. Instead of simply calling in sick like a normal person, he decided to take things to the next level—by pretending he had been forcibly abducted.

“I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea,” Schaefer later admitted. “It felt like a solid plan at 2 AM after a few beers.”

At 7:45 AM, Schaefer texted his boss a dramatic message:

“I’ve been kidnapped. They’re taking me somewhere. Don’t know if I’ll make it. Tell payroll to forward my last check to my mom.”

His boss, completely unconvinced, immediately responded:

“Brandon, you work in accounting. Who is kidnapping you??”

Still committed to the bit, Schaefer refused to answer—hoping his silence would sell the lie. What he didn’t realize was that his phone was still sharing his live location with multiple coworkers, thanks to a company group chat.

At 8:12 AM, Schaefer’s boss noticed something suspicious.

“He said he was being ‘taken somewhere,’ but his location was moving extremely slowly and kept stopping at intersections,” said coworker Lisa Gomez. “That’s when we realized… this man was sitting in morning traffic.”

Concerned (but mostly curious), the boss notified the police, who quickly pinged Schaefer’s location to a Taco Bell parking lot.

“I guess even fake hostages get hungry,” said Officer Mark Reynolds.

Police arrived at 8:27 AM to find Schaefer completely alone in his car, enjoying a breakfast burrito.

“When they knocked on the window, I literally almost choked,” Schaefer said. “I knew I was caught, so I just held up my Crunchwrap like, ‘Yeah… so this is awkward.’”

After confirming there was no actual kidnapping, police gave Schaefer a formal warning and a stern lecture about wasting police resources.

Meanwhile, his boss texted him one final message:

“You better get here before your burrito gets cold. We need to talk.”

Now back at work (and no longer attempting to stage crimes to avoid it), Schaefer has learned an important lesson.

“I should’ve just called in sick,” he said. “Or at least turned off location sharing. Rookie mistake.”