SACRAMENTO, CA — In a comical misadventure that could only happen in suburbia, local man Brian Thompson, 34, found himself knee-deep in hilarity when he attempted to train his pet goldfish, Goldie, to fetch a tiny ball. What started as a well-meaning effort to bond with his aquatic friend quickly spiraled into chaos, leaving both Brian and Goldie in an uproarious situation.
It all began one sunny Saturday afternoon when Thompson decided he wanted to teach Goldie some tricks. “I was watching dog training videos online, and I thought, ‘If dogs can fetch, why can’t my goldfish?’” he explained, laughing at his own absurdity. Armed with determination and a mini ping pong ball, Thompson set out on his quest to create the world’s first fetch-playing goldfish.
The Training Begins
Brian filled Goldie’s tank with fresh water, put on his favorite motivational playlist, and began the training session. “I figured a little music would set the mood,” he said, chuckling. “But all Goldie did was swim around, totally uninterested in my grand plan.”
Undeterred, Thompson continued his efforts, attempting to lure Goldie with treats. “I tried everything—fish flakes, peas, even tiny bits of shrimp,” he recalled. But no matter what he offered, Goldie simply floated around, blissfully ignoring the mini ball. “I thought maybe she just needed a little more encouragement,” he said.
The Great Escape
After several failed attempts, Thompson decided to up the ante. He fashioned a mini net and tried to scoop Goldie out of the tank to practice fetching on dry land. “I thought it would be easier if I showed her what to do,” he explained. Unfortunately, Goldie had other ideas. As soon as Thompson dipped the net into the tank, Goldie darted away like a torpedo, evading capture.
In a desperate attempt to catch her, Thompson leaned too far over the tank and accidentally knocked the entire setup off the table. Water spilled everywhere, and Goldie went flying out of her tank, performing an impressive leap onto the living room carpet. “It was like a scene from an action movie,” he laughed, “only instead of explosions, we had a fish flopping around!”
Fishy Predicament
Thompson panicked as he scooped Goldie up and placed her back in her tank, which was now half-empty. “I thought I’d traumatized her for life!” he exclaimed. He quickly filled the tank back up and frantically tried to comfort his beloved fish, who seemed perfectly fine despite the chaos.
Realizing he had created quite the spectacle, Thompson decided to share the incident on social media. To his surprise, the video went viral, with viewers finding humor in the absurdity of training a goldfish to fetch. “I didn’t think it would blow up like that,” he said, grinning. “But apparently, people love watching fish in chaos!”
A New Career Path
Emboldened by his newfound fame, Thompson started a YouTube channel called “Goldfish Training Adventures.” He shares humorous training tips, including “How to Teach Your Goldfish to ‘Come’” and “Aquatic Agility: Tricks for Your Fish.”
“I may not have a fetch champion on my hands, but at least Goldie has become an internet star!” he said.
In the end, Thompson learned that while training a goldfish might not be the best idea, the laughs and the unexpected journey made it all worthwhile. And as for Goldie, she seems perfectly happy, swimming around her tank—now equipped with a tiny ping pong ball that she occasionally nudges, reminding Thompson of their fishy adventure.