ORLANDO, FL — Local resident Derek Simmons, 31, was briefly detained Tuesday night after attempting to pay for his $14.76 Taco Bell order using Monopoly money, insisting to employees that “it all spends the same if you believe hard enough.” The incident occurred around 11:30 p.m. at a drive-thru in downtown Orlando, where Simmons, reportedly… Read more

CHICAGO — A routine attempt to renew a library card took an unexpected turn this week when local resident Gary Thompson, 34, accidentally declared himself the mayor of Chicago. Thompson, an IT consultant with what he describes as “medium-level keyboard skills,” was filling out an online form on the city’s website when a glitch caused… Read more

LANSING, MI — What started as a hilarious prank quickly turned into a three-hour ordeal for local resident Kyle Henderson, 28, after he became hopelessly stuck inside a giant traffic cone outside a downtown construction site. Henderson, who describes himself as “an ideas guy,” had been out with friends on Friday night when he spotted… Read more

AUSTIN, TX – A man’s attempt to “be more open-minded” went hilariously wrong when he accidentally joined an advanced yoga class, misunderstood the chanting, and thought he was being inducted into a cult. Ryan Mitchell, 31, had been encouraged by his girlfriend to try yoga to help with his stress and “chronic inability to touch his toes.” “I was expecting,… Read more

PORTLAND, OR – A local man found himself in an awkward standoff with police after he accidentally reported his own car stolen—only to later realize he had stolen it himself. Josh Peterson, 34, had spent the evening at a local bar with friends, enjoying what he described as “just a few drinks, but, like, responsibly.” When he left the bar around… Read more

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Travelers at Philadelphia International Airport were in for a scaly surprise when a man attempted to board his flight with a very unconventional emotional support animal—a full-grown alligator named Wally. Joe Simmons, 41, insisted that Wally, his five-foot-long reptilian companion, was “as gentle as a puppy” and should be allowed to board the plane with him. “He helps… Read more

LOS ANGELES, CA – A man’s attempt to impress his new date with a gourmet home-cooked meal turned into a fiery disaster when he accidentally set his kitchen ablaze—twice. Ethan Parker, 29, had invited his date, Olivia Mitchell, over for a romantic dinner, hoping to showcase his “culinary skills” and prove he was husband material. “I told her I… Read more

DENVER, CO – A local man’s attempt to perform a heroic animal rescue took an embarrassing turn when he realized the “hungry, abandoned dog” he had lovingly taken in was actually his neighbor’s very annoyed cat. Greg Simmons, 35, was out for an evening jog when he spotted what he believed to be a small, scruffy dog wandering alone near… Read more

BOSTON, MA – A local man who entered a porta-potty for a quick pit stop during the Boston Marathon ended up accidentally winning after getting stuck inside and unknowingly being moved across the finish line. Ryan Baxter, 32, had never planned to run the marathon. In fact, he had only shown up to cheer on his girlfriend and maybe… Read more

PHOENIX, AZ – A local man’s genius plan to fake his own kidnapping to avoid work fell apart almost immediately when he forgot to turn off location sharing on his phone, allowing his boss and police to track him directly to a Taco Bell drive-thru. Brandon Schaefer, 28, had been dreading a long shift at his… Read more