ORLANDO, FL — Local resident Derek Simmons, 31, was briefly detained Tuesday night after attempting to pay for his $14.76 Taco Bell order using Monopoly money, insisting to employees that “it all spends the same if you believe hard enough.”
The incident occurred around 11:30 p.m. at a drive-thru in downtown Orlando, where Simmons, reportedly craving a late-night Crunchwrap Supreme, confidently handed the cashier a crisp orange $500 bill from the classic board game.
According to witnesses, when the cashier hesitated, Simmons doubled down.
“I told him it was a limited edition bill and that it was probably worth more than regular money,” Simmons later explained. “I even threw in a couple of blue $50s to cover the tip. I don’t see what the issue was.”
Taco Bell employees, less amused, called local authorities.
A Hard Bargain
Officer Miguel Rodriguez was first on the scene and initially assumed the call was a prank. “I mean, we get weird calls all the time, but this was a new one,” he said. “I walked up to the window and this guy was still sitting there, arguing that if stores accept credit cards, why not Monopoly money? ‘They’re both just pieces of paper,’ he kept saying.”
Simmons, however, remained committed to his economic theory.
“I pointed out that our actual U.S. currency is backed by nothing but belief, so in a way, all money is Monopoly money,” Simmons argued. “I thought I was making some solid points, but they just kept shaking their heads.”
According to employees, Simmons then offered to trade a “Get Out of Jail Free” card in exchange for his food.
“We actually considered it,” admitted cashier Jake Morris. “Because if anyone was going to need it, it was this guy.”
Legal Tender… Kind Of?
After an extended debate, officers ultimately let Simmons off with a warning, on the condition that he pay with actual money. Unfortunately, Simmons’ wallet contained only a Chuck E. Cheese token and three expired Arby’s coupons.
In an unexpected turn, a Good Samaritan in the drive-thru line behind him—reportedly “just wanting to get my dang tacos”—paid for Simmons’ meal in real U.S. dollars just to end the standoff.
“I respect the hustle, but I also just really wanted to go home,” said the anonymous benefactor. “I threw him a twenty and said, ‘Please, let’s all move on with our lives.’”
Simmons, while grateful, still feels he was unfairly treated.
“I don’t know, man. With the way the economy’s going, in five years, this Monopoly money might be worth more than the real thing,” he mused.
Taco Bell management has since confirmed that they will continue to only accept legal U.S. currency, but have added an important clarification:
“Yes, even at 2 a.m.”