CLEVELAND, OH – A local man found himself in a tight situation—literally—after getting stuck inside a vending machine at his office late Tuesday night.

According to eyewitnesses, Greg Thompson, a 38-year-old IT specialist, was working late when he decided to grab a snack from the breakroom vending machine. Unfortunately, the bag of Cheetos he purchased got stuck on the edge of the spiral dispenser, an injustice Thompson refused to accept.

“I tried the usual tricks—shaking the machine, hitting the glass, cursing at it,” Thompson told reporters after his rescue. “Nothing worked, so I figured I’d just… reach in and grab it.”

That’s when things went south.

Rather than giving up and walking away like a reasonable person, Thompson decided to take matters into his own hands—literally. Witnesses say he reached his arm up into the retrieval slot, wiggling and stretching in an attempt to free the stubborn snack.

At some point, physics betrayed him.

“I don’t know how it happened, but next thing I knew, my shoulder was in there, then my head, and before I knew it… I was stuck,” Thompson admitted.

Coworkers found him wedged in the vending machine, both arms pinned, his head barely visible beneath the row of overpriced candy bars.

“Honestly, we thought he was joking at first,” said Sarah Mills, an HR representative. “Greg is the kind of guy who once wore a Batman cape to a company meeting, so this wasn’t totally out of character.”

But when Thompson started yelling for help, coworkers realized this was no office prank. Attempts to pull him free only made things worse.

“Somebody tried to tug him out by his legs, but he just yelled, ‘I AM THE MACHINE NOW!’ so we stopped,” said Jeff Rogers, a fellow IT employee.

The situation took a dramatic turn when Thompson, still stuck, reached up with his free hand and successfully grabbed the Cheetos.

“I got them, though!” he announced proudly, though his celebration was short-lived when he realized he couldn’t actually eat them.

With no other options, employees called 911. Firefighters arrived and, after about 20 minutes of careful maneuvering—and a lot of laughing—managed to free Thompson with minimal damage to both him and the machine.

“The best part?” said firefighter Mark Diaz. “We gave him his Cheetos before we pulled him out. Priorities.”

Thompson walked away with only minor bruises and a vending machine ban from HR.

When asked if he regretted his decision, Thompson was unapologetic.

“I’d do it again. No snack gets left behind.”